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From Victim.  To Survivor.  To Becoming a             POWERFUL LIFE FORCE: by Kathleen Hoy Foley

1/25/2018

 
                                                    VICTIM
 
VICTIM is a power word.  It describes.  It resonates.  It expresses a truth.  It coalesces all the broken parts into a whole.  It becomes a thing.  A thing that can be looked at.  Understood.  Managed.  Surmounted.  And utilized for your greater good. 
 
VICTIM describes violence.  Violence is domineering, tyrannical, life-changing maltreatment perpetrated by one against another.  Many victims of violence do not even recognize that they are victims.  Victims of violence often do not identify as violence the maltreatment they were subjected to.  Violence is not always loud.  Oftentimes violence is quiet, shifty; covert.  Most violence committed against another goes unseen, unheard, and unverified, leaving the victim in a purgatory of self-blame, shame, confusion, and trauma.  Being subjugated by violence always results in trauma.
 
Trauma is devious: it kills personal power.  Trauma surreptitiously permeates and weakens a life by constantly recreating itself by attracting more trauma.  Trauma establishes an energy that evokes behavior that becomes a magnet for physical, emotional, and psychological disorder.  All disease begins with dis-order.  Trauma is a disorder.  Trauma must be resolved before a life can be made whole.  Trauma never resolves itself.
 
VICTIM is a power word.  Recognizing yourself as a victim of violence is the first step toward resolving trauma.  Say it out loud: I AM A VICTIM OF VIOLENCE.  Say it again.  And again.  Say the words “I AM A VICTIM OF VIOLENCE” until that powerful truth penetrates the wall of resistance you’ve erected to protect your heart.  Say your truth words until you feel the heat of them connect with the wellspring of hidden truths.
       
When you have internalized this powerful truth, begin to consciously support yourself with your power thoughts and power words.  You are a VICTIM.  Not his victim.  Not her victim.  The abuser is not your abuser.  Separate yourself from all emotional and verbal connections to the abuser.  The abuser does not belong to you.  You do not belong to the abuser.  The abuse was not your choice.  The abuse was done to you. 
 
Your singular task is to resolve the resulting trauma, to make yourself whole, to illuminate your life.  To create the life of your dreams.  You are the only one who can do that.  You are the super power.
 

 Next time: Survivor 
   


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    About the Author

    In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.

    Raw. Uncompromising. Compassionate. Deliberately antagonistic. Kathleen writes to awaken the courage within the reader.


    TO THE SURVIVOR
    If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator. 

    I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence. 

    You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted. 

    This is an excerpt from: 

    http://web.archive.org/web/20130101063123/http://true-perspective.org 

    Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power! 

    You are your own authority.

    Question Everything.  Including social, religious & political authorities

    Learn to listen and respond to your intuition.  It is never wrong.

    Learn to be impolite.  It must be part of your defense system.

    Nothing is unspeakable.

    Stare truth in the eye and speak it.

    You name abuse.  Listen to your body.  It will tell you.  It is never wrong. 

    Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.

    Stare abusers in the eye and name them.

    Use your voice.  Use your words. 

    BE LOUD.  Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.

    Know that you are powerful.

    KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL.   USE IT.



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