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The Obscenity of Hunting Elder Women

2/18/2013

 
Traumatized by Crisis Pregnancies  
Adoption = Crisis Pregnancy

By Kathleen Hoy Foley
Hunting down an aging woman on the basis of a concealed, catastrophic pregnancy; demanding intimate access to her body; perverting her with motherly and grandmotherly fantasies; and abusing her with the whip of permanent maternal obligation is obscene, parallels pornography, and sits in the realm of the sadistic.  Pornography dehumanizes a woman, reduces her to sexual body parts for the use and pleasure of others.  She becomes a commodity, a service to be exploited by those demanding gratification from fantasy.  A woman hunted on the grounds of her biology is a targeted object subordinated to appease the emotional satisfaction of an obsessed audience, and is as degraded and exposed as a woman stripped, thrown on her back, and spread-eagled while the camera focuses on the penetration of her genitalia.  Only there can be no presumption of consent regarding a hunted woman and no legal or social recourse available to her in a climate of dehumanization by public agreement. 
     
Shaming an elder woman with birthing fantasies violates her humanity, exploits her sexual organs, and imposes on her willing consent, eager compliance, enthusiasm, and gratefulness for an unwanted conception while dismissing the reality of long-term reproductive trauma to her body and spirit.  It is perversion to degrade a woman as an object and provider of prurient sex.  It is perversion to degrade an elder woman as an object and servant expected to oblige maternal fantasies.

Hunting down old women is barbaric.  That hunt always begins at the site of the sexual trauma she endured—her vagina.  Tailing the statement, “I’m adopted,” is the inevitable question, the challenge, “Are you going to find your real mother?”  As in pornography, the hunted woman—the question mark—is dehumanized.  Reduced to an object.  Portrayed as a source of passion.  Summoned to provide a climax.  When in reality the hunted woman suffered the grossest sexual exploitation possible: impregnation against her will.  Intensifying that catastrophic injury, the hunted woman is depicted as a lost thing to be found, forced into the self-abuse of blame and the self-abuse of obedience as her participation in a sadistic “reunion” of her body and its manifest trauma is imposed on her by society.  She is reduced to an imaginary and biological commodity while consigned to a shadowed existence in a hostile, mother-forever-at-all-cost cultural environment from which she cannot escape.

The persistent myth of a young girl gripped in the throes of a desperately wanted pregnancy but helpless in the face of hardship that forcibly ripped love from her arms and thrust it into the cold world of the adoption process is comparable to the mythological woman consumed with lust, passion, and gratification when being tortured by rape portrayed up there on the pornographer’s screen.  It is time to recognize that the notion of the loving, lost mother is a myth that lives only in fantasy.  Unwanted pregnancies are a reality, not deliberate.  Abortion is deliberate.  Placement in the confidential adoption system is deliberate.  It signifies trauma.  It represents rescue.  Emancipation.  The details of a catastrophic sexual and biological ordeal are private.  Rescue from a reproductive nightmare are individually specific and intensely personal. 
 
But for the hunted woman—whether she is hunted by the State, an agency, detectives, or an individual—the assumption of entitlement predominates.  Those who hunt her assume entitlement to her person, her physical location, to her private, familial, and medical history, to all extensions of her life.  This presumed entitlement is an obscene dismissal of human rights, a grotesque violation of an elder woman’s intimate boundaries, and grants emotional and bodily privileges to the hunters—predators that inflict fresh wounds on the old woman by the perpetuation of the sexual trauma she endured.

There will come a time when the obscenity of this practice of routing out aging and elder women from the dark, sexual, birthing injuries of their pasts and punishing them until they submit their bodies and spirits to appease individual and societal demands will become obvious.  As it did for animals, the truths of cruelty eventually filter into social consciousness and people of decency and compassion take action.  But today those who would hunt down a woman once victimized by an unwanted pregnancy are supported by social and religious indoctrination and revelry that insist on a woman’s maternal obedience and obligation to a biological catastrophe that once befell her. 

Who speaks for a hunted woman except those that hunt her?  Who, except her pursuers, decides the fate of a hunted woman, the fate of her family, the fate of her status in her home and community?  The assumption of sexual trauma, the assumption of juvenile sexual assault must prevail in all discussions of a confidential adoption.  Whether that discussion is with the person placed in the adoption system, in the larger social arena, in political forums, or tossed about by gossip mongers, it must begin and end with sexual trauma and the knowledge that the hunt for a woman in hiding is obscene, pornographic, and sadistic and inflicts further sexual abuse upon that old woman.

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    About the Author

    In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.

    Raw. Uncompromising. Compassionate. Deliberately antagonistic. Kathleen writes to awaken the courage within the reader.


    TO THE SURVIVOR
    If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator. 

    I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence. 

    You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted. 

    This is an excerpt from: 

    http://web.archive.org/web/20130101063123/http://true-perspective.org 

    Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power! 

    You are your own authority.

    Question Everything.  Including social, religious & political authorities

    Learn to listen and respond to your intuition.  It is never wrong.

    Learn to be impolite.  It must be part of your defense system.

    Nothing is unspeakable.

    Stare truth in the eye and speak it.

    You name abuse.  Listen to your body.  It will tell you.  It is never wrong. 

    Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.

    Stare abusers in the eye and name them.

    Use your voice.  Use your words. 

    BE LOUD.  Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.

    Know that you are powerful.

    KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL.   USE IT.



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