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Governor Chris Christie & The Dazzling Little Bird

5/29/2014

 
                                                      By Kathleen Hoy Foley
Call me woo-woo, but intuition and synchronistic occurrences pave the way for me through the combat of political rhetoric and past cunning abusers posing as martyred heroes for a higher cause (insert sob here).  It is not like I didn’t expect closed confidential birth records to be magically unsealed with a sweeping open sesame command by Governor Chris Christie.  It’s that when it happened, I pictured hundreds of little song birds being felled by a hefty guy dressed in camouflage swilling cheap beer, firing rounds out of a shotgun he scored in a shady deal with a character named Bubba.  I myself don’t drink beer; however that occasion called for it.  I resisted and instead took to staring out the window wishing I had my own sorcerer’s sword—never mind what I’d do with it.  That’s when I saw the bird.  A dazzling bird to be specific.  A rose-breasted grosbeak to be even more specific.

It’s been years since a rose-breasted grosbeak showed up in our yard.  But on the day I heard about all the women on Governor Christie’s hit list, there it was, splashing in our small garden waterfall as if the spring morning had dawned and warmed the water simply for its pleasure.  I was properly dazzled.  All life’s pleasures wrapped up in one little bird dancing in the sunlight.  A smile-worthy scene if ever there was one.  Later in the day, a photo of a rose-breasted grosbeak “coincidently” showed up in our email.  Synchronicity at its finest.  The little bird was zooming in from mysterious sacred realms bearing a message of good tidings.  I was sure of it.  Certainly Governor Christie would feel the sorrowful beat of his own heart and realize he’d been spoon-fed Kool-Aid by cunning abusers bearing a suspicious resemblance to overgrown infants throwing temper tantrums.  Whereby the governor would wield his sorcerer’s sword three times backwards reversing his open sesame command while chanting, the stalking of old women by overgrown infants throwing temper tantrums is a crime.  And the dazzling rose-breasted grosbeak would continue to dazzle and all the little song birds would be spared.

A week later the rose-breasted grosbeak was dead.  Synchronicity at its worst.

That dazzling bird and its unfortunate header into plate glass started me reflecting on my mother, The Little Bird.  That’s what I called her in the last years of her life, The Little Bird.  One glimpse told the tale.  Tiny.  Broken.  Confused.  Songless.  Dying.  Like that rose-breasted grosbeak.  The dazzle extinguished.  What a woo-woo parallel, I thought—two little birds: tiny, broken, confused, songless, dying—lying as defenseless prey for any skulking predator looking to cop lunch.  And guess what arrived to devour both carcasses.  That’s right.  Predators.

After her brain was sufficiently befuddled and her little bird body was sufficiently broken down so as to guarantee no resistance, two cunning abusers showed up on The Little Bird’s doorstep.  The Little Bird was oblivious.  How would she know that she was being tricked and dragged off to serve as the “fading star” in a scheme connived by the two overgrown infants?  That she was no more than a cartoon character used to fulfill their sentimental fantasies?  Of course, she wouldn’t know, but the predators knew.

One cunning abuser, her adopted brother--Bill from Ohio, as my mother would sneer when referring to him—exhibited surprising perception.  My mother’s loathing of him was the stuff of legends.  Smart of Bill from Ohio to wait until her brain was adequately wasted and her speech totally muddled.  Because before she became The Little Bird, my mother would’ve gone for his jugular, Ninja style.  The second cunning abuser was a thumb-sucking stranger in the throes of a temper tantrum demanding her turn at The Little Bird’s carcass.  The stranger posed The Little Bird for a few sappy photos, perfect for Facebook boasting.  And with a few full-blown embellishments of the delusional variety, the cunning stranger invented herself a dying “grandma.”  Really?  (Insert sob here.)  Please, don’t hold back the sentimental tears.   

My mother did not do sentimental.  My mother did ornery.  Before Parkinson’s ate her brain, Pat would just as soon slap you as greet you.  What she liked was cigarettes.  And coffee.  She couldn’t stand people, kids, animals, or whiners.  If you fit into one of those categories, well, it sucks to be you.  Once she slapped my brother on his dangling, broken foot insisting, “It’s not broken.  Get up and walk on it.”  Nobody got away with thumb sucking around my mother.  Maybe it was the waitress training.  Send Pat the Waitress running back to the kitchen enough times with complaints about your food, and she’d serve you all right—and it wasn’t just steak on your plate.  You never should have been fooled by Pat the Waitress.  Not by her silence.  And certainly not by her innocent smile.  That was her power.  And the arrogant customer’s undoing.  No kidding…sucked to be him or her…seriously…ewww…

So for the benefit of Governor Chris Christie and all the overgrown infants he is about to unleash to prey on the little birds the governor felled with that magic sword of his, I think I will channel Pat the Waitress.  Pat the Waitress dealt with her share of bullies in her time and she’d like to have a few words. 

You can knock me down but you BETTER NOT be around when I get up.

I’m gonna’ smack them so hard, they’ll be holdin’ their teeth in their hands.

You think I was born yesterday?

They think I’m takin’ their shit, they got another think comin’.

I don’t believe a word comin’ out of his mouth.

I’m not giving them nothin’.

Don’t come around here cryin’.

You’re gonna’ get what you’re asking for all right.

Keep it up and I’ll give you something to cry for.

Ugly horse face.

(Reserved for the ugliest of the ugly.)

I can smell him comin’ a mile away.

  (She liked saying that about Bill from Ohio.)

Somebody should’a beat the shit out of that kid. 

(She liked saying that about Bill from Ohio, too.)

Nothin’ but a bunch of spoiled, rotten brats.

(That covered everybody looking for pity or a handout, including Bill from Ohio.)

Here’s the thing about woo-woo.  It shows you stuff you normally wouldn’t notice.  I loved seeing that dazzling little bird splashing away in the waterfall.  And was so sad that it ended up dead in the grass. Yet amazed by its woo-woo message.  I’d mostly forgotten about when my mother was Pat the Waitress, before The Little Bird took over.  Thanks to that rose-breasted grosbeak, I saw my mother sitting at the kitchen table drinking her sixth cup of coffee and working through her second pack of Raleigh’s.  I heard her low, smoky growl accusing those two ugly horse faces of kidnapping her, treating her like she was stupid.  And I knew that on the day those cunning abusers spirited her away that there was still some Pat the Waitress dazzle alive in The Little Bird.  I heard her saying, I didn’t give them nothin’.  And she didn’t.

So to all you beautiful little song birds out there frightened by the power of Governor Chris Christie and his sorcerer’s sword and open sesame command, and terrified of the overgrown infants salivating over your carcass, Pat the Waitress has a few more words:

Tell them to suck your nose and to go to Hell.

I told you she was ornery.  You go, dazzling Little Bird! 

The Opening of Sealed Adoption Records: Privacy and Redaction

5/20/2014

 
By Philip Foley

Redaction: The State will remove your name from the formerly classified documents before release to protect still confidential material (your name).

Governor Christie has authorized the unsealing of confidential adoption records. The State legislators have set aside funding for a media blitz to enforce your cooperation with this action.

We urge you to prepare yourself for this and look at the reality of what that means to a woman in hiding.

Know that the State will be contacting you within the next year or so as a result of this legislative action. Seriously consider revealing your secret to your loved ones or at least a loved and trusted person who can offer support and comfort. Facing this ordeal by yourself is going to be profoundly stressful. This is not an ordeal you need or should endure alone.

Revealing your secret yourself will allow you to take control of your story.

Because of this legislative action, you (a biological source) will be compelled to decide on the options offered to you.

The first option is to make yourself available for direct contact with the adoptee.

The second option is to use an intermediary to conduct contact with the adoptee. If you decide on this option, please ensure that the intermediary you select always acts on your behalf. The intermediary should be instructed to never offer any personal information without first consulting with you. If the intermediary attempts to convince you to provide information you do not feel comfortable divulging, get another intermediary immediately.

In the third option, the State will require a biological source (you) to either provide your medical and family history or they will expose your name publicly.  They (the State – the same entity that promised you sealed confidential adoption records) promise to redact you name if you submit to their coercive demand to disclose your private, personal medical and family information. They also want you to update this information every 5 to 10 years.

Here’s the challenge.  Kathleen was “found” despite sealed records. There is no valid reason to believe that the State can or will protect you even if you comply with their demands and your name is actually redacted from the record.

Having been in law enforcement and investigative work for over 40 years, I know that privacy is an illusion. This self-deception does not serve your best interest. It is not my intention to alarm you, but my experience, both professional and personal, has given me the understanding that if someone is intent on finding you, they will. Predators don’t just go away.  You must take steps to protect yourself from unwanted contact.

There are current laws that may help protect you should an unwanted individual, demanding contact, show up at your door or harass you with unwanted correspondence. Unfortunately, you must forfeit your anonymity to take advantage of these laws.

With today’s technological advances, anonymity is almost impossible to maintain. Supplying the State with any information you don’t want them to have is absolutely no guarantee of anonymity. Please understand this.

I offer the following suggestions for you to consider:

Contact the State personally or through a competent attorney.  Inform the State that you will not provide any information without a court order.  Request that they place in your official record your desire to NOT BE CONTACTED by the State, the Adoptee or anyone representing either.  Additionally, request that the official record reflect that any contact will be considered Harassment. Indicate that you will take legal action should anyone violate your stated request for NO CONTACT.

By taking a proactive approach to the unsealing of your confidential records, you stake claim to your personal boundaries and assert your personal power.

A competent attorney (one versed in how the system of government works) should be able to find viable civil action against an unwanted individual who pursues, stalks and /or harasses you.  Not all attorneys are created equal. Shop around for the best one to protect you.

Here are some (not all) criminal laws that will give you some protection:

2C:12-10. Stalking designated a crime;
b. A person is guilty of stalking, a crime of the fourth degree, if he purposefully or knowingly engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his safety or the safety of a third person or suffer other emotional distress.

2C:13-5 Criminal coercion
A person is guilty of criminal coercion if, with purpose unlawfully to restrict another's freedom of action to engage or refrain from engaging in conduct, he threatens to:
(7) Perform any other act which would not in itself substantially benefit the actor but which is calculated to substantially harm another person with respect to his health, safety, business, calling, career, financial condition, reputation or personal relationships.

2C:33-4 Harassment: if, with purpose to harass another
Makes, or causes to be made, a communication or communications anonymously or at extremely inconvenient hours, or in offensively coarse language, or any other manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm.

2C:25-19 "Domestic violence"
You currently do not have protection under this act because the legislature failed to include you since there was never cohabitation with the adoptee. This was brought to the attention of several legislators' that I personally spoke with prior to them opening the records.

Perhaps a competent attorney could figure a way to get you the protection this act provides since the State indicates in the act a concern for the elderly by stating:
The Legislature further finds and declares that violence against the elderly and disabled, including criminal neglect of the elderly and disabled under section 1 of P.L.1989, c.23 (C.2C:24-8), must be recognized and addressed on an equal basis as violence against spouses and children in order to fulfill our responsibility as a society to protect those who are less able to protect themselves.

The Legislature further finds and declares that even though many of the existing criminal statutes are applicable to acts of domestic violence, previous societal attitudes concerning domestic violence have affected the response of our law enforcement and judicial systems, resulting in these acts receiving different treatment from similar crimes when they occur in a domestic context. The Legislature finds that battered adults presently experience substantial difficulty in gaining access to protection from the judicial system, particularly due to that system's inability to generate a prompt response in an emergency situation.

Pro Choice or Only Choice?

5/15/2014

 
By Philip Foley

Not everyone believes that an unwanted pregnancy is always an occasion for celebration among family, friends, and community. 

Emily Letts had the courage to speak about her right to her own body through YouTube and dispel the gross misconception (no pun intended) of people like Governor Christie by stating:

"My goal was to reach at least one woman, to make her breathe easier and to let her know that she is not alone," Letts said. "My video is not about me. It's about using my story as a jumping off point for conversation. Women do not need to be shamed into silence."
http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/emily-letts-youtube-abortion-foes-i-wont-respond-hate-n100966

There will be no State social worker or predator adoptee showing up on Ms. Letts door in 30, 40 or 50 years.

Critics of Ms. Letts choice should consider that her decision was less of a Pro Choice and more of an Only Choice since States are now opening once guaranteed Sealed Confidential Adoption records.

Ms. Letts has claimed her personal power and is her own authority.

Good for her.



An Open Letter to Governor Chris Christie

5/8/2014

 
Dear Governor Christie,

Hey there!  Just wanted to thank you for signing that bill into law, you know, the one that will unseal confidential birth records and vilify the girls and women who suffered catastrophic, unwanted pregnancies and had the nerve to think they could keep that kind of thing secret. Thank you for exposing us to the public. I realize now that it’s for our own good. We’re pretty weak and we cry a lot, so we need a male with a strong arm to put us in our place. For a lot of us that’s what got us in the predicament originally. We’re accustomed to cowering.

At first, Governor, I admit I was a little upset at you and your people for all the fist-pumping over the passage of this bill.  I have always regarded celebrating a win at the expense of another’s agony as low-class, ignorant behavior.  I see now that I must lighten up.  I take life much too seriously.  I must develop a better sense of humor for the absurd.  I’m working on it. 

Which brings me to lemonade and one of your colleagues and how informed and eloquent she came off when she chastised impregnated rape victims that they will just have to make lemonade out of lemons. I assume she was chastising any girl or woman impregnated against her will, not just rape victims. Believe it or not, I do find humor in this. Same goes for your comments that—and I’m paraphrasing here--every pregnancy is a blessing. I’m coming to appreciate your comedic skills.  Clearly those who call you a know-it-all bully are wrong. You’re just witty, as all politicians must be.  Back in the days before rape was a crime, politicians used to joke that (potential) rape victims shouldjust lie there and enjoy it. I laughed at that one, too.

As an obedient, private citizen of the State of New Jersey, please allow me the honor of becoming the very first woman who endured a catastrophic pregnancy and was rescued by the confidential adoption process and promised anonymity to submit to your authority and confess all my secrets. I promise I will lie still and try to enjoy it. Even as a young girl I realized when I was beaten.  Onto the lemonade.

It’s a sad fact of my life that nobody wants to listen to me whine about my illnesses, aches and pains, general malaise, and obsessions, or rants about estranged family members, or complaints about my past.  But now that I have you and your people who actually want to listen to my list of problems and grievances, my sadness has miraculously lifted. It’s a wonderful life when you can make lemonade out of rotten lemons. Thank you for this opportunity, Governor.

First, about my personal history. I’ve already written the book, Woman In Hiding, A True Tale of Backdoor Abuse, Dark Secrets and Other Evil Deeds. The title says it all, but I’ll send it to you anyway. This will save all of us time so I can move on to the good stuff which is my fascinating family history you and your people are so obsessed with. 

I’m really excited about forking over the skinny on my family heritage for public consumption. Never before have I had the opportunity to air all this dirty laundry to such attentive ears. Again, thank you. I know you and your people will be impressed that I am related to rapists, a pornographer, a pedophile lesbian, drunkards (sorry, politically incorrect term for alcoholics), drug addicts, sex addicts, thieves, con-artists, kidnappers, child abusers, sex abusers, physical abusers, elder abusers, regular run-of-the-mill abusers, predators, stalkers, pathological liars, and a would-be-murder (unfortunately, the two attempts failed). It would take too much space to go into full detail here.  But do send your people by. I’ll be delighted to provide them with full names and complete addresses and in the case of the deceased, directions to their final resting places. I think, as you do, that every skeleton must be dug up. Plus, I could use the psychological counseling you’ve offered. Ever since I worked at a state-run mental institution I’ve been overjoyed by the competence of state social workers.  Of course, it took me a while to get over my fox-in-the-henhouse worry, but then I started thinking about lemonade and decided that I can trust you and your people.  I think the Valium helped. 

Anyway enough about my relatives and more about ME! and my problems. I confess that I think I might have Multiple Sclerosis. But it could be Guillain-Barre Syndrome. I’m not sure if I inherited either of these conditions, so I thought I should mention them.  I consulted Reader’s Digest about my symptoms and confirmed them on the internet. The numbness in my foot has nothing to do with the fact that a board fell on it and the fact that I did not receive proper attention and sympathy for my pain. I am glad that you and your people take me seriously. I am sure I am suffering from a dread disease andnot just a bruise.

Also, I am an old lady. I’ve suffered many diseases over my life. Cancer. Gout. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Chronic Fatigue. And Polio, just to name a few. I think just to be sure, you and your people should check “all of the above” on my official medical records. That all of these maladies were figments of my over-active imagination do not make them any less scary. Reader’s Digest and the internet are trusted diagnostic tools. I use them frequently. Recently I had a rash. I was sure it was skin cancer.  But I got top-notch advice from one of those medical websites. Gnat bites! Who knew?  But one can never be too careful. 

Currently I am dealing with occasional headaches. According to Reader’s Digest I probably have a brain tumor. Or maybe migraines. Or an allergy to milk chocolate. Or sensitivity to pollen. But they might be due to aggravation caused by the aforementioned relatives.  I haven’t had a chance to verify anything on the internet yet. I’ll let you know for sure. But if the brain tumor thing ends the way I think it will, my husband will contact you so you can update my records. I wouldn’t want to cheat you and your people out of my five year check in.

Forgive me Governor, because I am so embarrassed to tell you and your people this, but I realize that I am obligated. I suffer from low estrogen. Which probably explains the mustache. And the limp.  But not the harelip. According to my family the harelip is a genetic deformity passed down by imbeciles. Again, sorry about the politically incorrect term, but that’s what my family calls the deformed imbeciles they keep locked-up in their attics. I blame flimsy locks for all the inbreeding.  

What has me confused, though, are my crossed eyes. I have no idea where they came from. Not that there aren’t advantages to being cross-eyed. If we were to meet, Governor, I’d see two of you. How great is that?

As long as I’m giving an official confession, I better tell you this: I see ghosts. I always thought I was nuts.  But according to reality TV, I’m just psychic. I don’t want to cause you and your people any trouble or force you to do something you hadn’t planned on, but could you create a slot on your official forms for this sort of thing? I understand if you can’t. If you have to, just list me as nuts. It fits in pretty well with the rest of my relatives.

One more thing, Governor. I’m genetically disposed to fat. I feel so close to you because I know we have this in common. I know my being a fat lady had nothing to do with cupcakes and bread.  That fat gene was a direct deposit from the rapist side of my ancestry. Oh, did I tell you that I’m adopted?  That I’m a spawn of a rapist? Those darn rapists ruin everything, don’t they? At least my Rapist Daddy could’ve had the decency to be skinny.

About my Rapist Daddy. Now that you’ve unsealed those pesky confidential records, I think I might do some sleuthing around. My Rapist Daddy is probably…what?...ninety now? I better hurry if I’m gonna’ find out where all my fat came from, not to mention my crossed eyes. I’m sure the old man and his old, fat, cross-eyed children will be thrilled to hear from me. I can’t wait to tell those kids that our daddy is a rapist.

Good luck to you, Governor. Congrats on your courage in signing that bill. Don’t worry about all those old ladies hanging out there twisting in the wind. They’re half dead anyway. Trust me—like I trust you and your people—they’ll never know what hit them. 

I’ll keep in touch!
Kathleen Hoy Foley

Governor Chris Christie signs death warrant for aging and elderly women in New Jersey

5/5/2014

 
By Philip Foley

Governor Chris Christie has signed the emotional, if not actual, death warrant for aging and elderly women in New Jersey, who as juveniles were impregnated by rape and were rescued by the confidential adoption process. 

The Governor shows his total disregard of the life long trauma inflicted on a girl/women impregnated by rape when he stated, "Advocates on all sides, however, share the view that life is a precious gift, and that the birth of a child is always an occasion for celebration among family, friends, and community”. 

The Governor finds himself so far to the Right with such a statement that he is in danger of falling off the Square Planet he still lives on.

As a witness to the devastation inflicted on my wife Kathleen, when a stranger adoptee forced her way into our life, I know what is in store for these women. Yes Governor; these aging and elderly women are living in fear of that day when the letter from the State arrives at their door imposing under extreme duress the requirement to strip themselves naked for the will of the a few heartless individuals.

Along with the Governor, the Sponsors of S-873 share his contempt for victims of sexual violence. I have spoken with many of them in person to no avail. They include Senators Joseph F. Vitale (D-Middlesex), Diane B. Allen (R-Burlington), and Loretta Weinberg (D-Bergen), and Assemblymembers Vincent Prieto (D-Bergen, Hudson), David Wolfe (R-Ocean), Angelica Jiminez (D-Bergen, Hudson), and Valerie Vainieri Huttle (D-Bergen).

Our hearts go out to the aging and elderly women who are about to be hunted down as a result of Governor Christie's action. The Governor has failed in his responsibility to protect these women.

If you are a women in hiding, Kathleen and I hope the following strategies will be helpful.

STRATEGIES FOR MANAGING THREATS OF AND/OR PERSONAL EXPOSURE
You need to know and completely understand that many stranger-adoptees are extremely aggressive in hunting down the *Biological Source/Carriers and refuse to take no for an answer.  If these stranger-adoptees are not successful or satisfied with gaining access to you, they will track down members of your immediate family, extended family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances.  They will circulate your personal information over the internet. They will not keep your secret.  Understand that they feel entirely and obsessively entitled to you and everything about you. They do not just go away.
With the current political trend of releasing personal and private information, chances are good that you or someone in your family will be contacted by the State, the adoption agency and/or directly by the stranger-adoptee.
Each woman's situation is different.  The strategies we offer here are only suggestions based on our experience.  Unfortunately no suggestion is guaranteed to work, but hopefully some will prove helpful.

***  DON'T PANIC:
Know that you have the courage and strength to deal with the situation confronting you.  Yes, it is extremely, sometimes unbearably difficult, but you can and must face it.

***  PREPARE A PLAN OF ACTION BEFORE YOU NEED IT
***  PROACTIVE APPROACH:
If you haven't been contacted by the adoption agency, State or adoptee, but are concerned that this is going to occur, consider contacting the adoption agency/State first.
  • Send a certified letter to the State or agency in charge of your records directing them not to release any of your information.
  • Direct them to notify you immediately if any inquiries are made regarding your records and if any information was divulged and to whom.
  • Sign and date all correspondence.
  • Keep copies of all correspondence.

***  P.O. BOX, CELL PHONE, COMPUTER
If confidentiality is vital, consider a P.O. Box for correspondence; use public computers, (available at libraries, etc.); and a personal cell phone that only you have access to. Consider a safety deposit box for copies of all communications.

***  IF YOU ARE CONTACTED BY AGENCY OR STATE:
It is in your best interest to respond.  They will not go away.
Contact them in writing (all correspondence should be signed and dated) stating you want no further contact from them (the agency/State) or from the adoptee.  Remember: you are not required to divulge any personal or medical information.
Keep copies.

***  REVEALING YOUR SECRET:
If you've been contacted by the agency/State, but not yet the adoptee, you must seriously consider revealing your secret to your loved ones or at least a loved and trusted person who can offer support and comfort.
Revealing your secret yourself will allow you to tell your own story in the way you want and need to tell it.

MAINTAIN YOUR BOUNDARIES:
It is your ordeal.  You get to set the boundaries.  You get to say there will be no compromises, if you so choose.  Set your boundaries and stick with them.

***  CONSIDER RETAINING AN ATTORNEY:
If you think you need an attorney to advocate for you with the agency/State/adoptee, be absolutely sure the attorneyunderstands and respects your case and your boundaries.  If she/he pushes you into compromises you are absolutely against or tries to make you feel guilty for your position, find another attorney.  Quick!

***  UNWANTED CONTACT BY THE ADOPTEE:
If you are contacted by the adoptee, tell the adoptee you wish no contact.
If the adoptee refuses to stop contacting you, have your attorney contact the adoptee advising the adoptee that any further contact will be considered harassment.
DO NOT give the adoptee any personal information hoping the adoptee will go away.  It won't work.
Non-compliance with your/your attorney's direction to stop contact with you can be interpreted as Stalking.  Stalking is a CRIME.

*** STALKING:
Stalking is any unwanted contact that communicates a threat or places the victim in fear. This communication could involve repeated visual or physical contact, verbal, written or implied threats, non-consensual communication, or a combination of these measures.


*We reject and never use any familial terminology relating to catastrophic and traumatic pregnancies.    
*We reject maternalizing sexual violation of girls and women.
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    About the Author

    In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.

    Raw. Uncompromising. Compassionate. Deliberately antagonistic. Kathleen writes to awaken the courage within the reader.


    TO THE SURVIVOR
    If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator. 

    I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence. 

    You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted. 

    This is an excerpt from: 

    http://web.archive.org/web/20130101063123/http://true-perspective.org 

    Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power! 

    You are your own authority.

    Question Everything.  Including social, religious & political authorities

    Learn to listen and respond to your intuition.  It is never wrong.

    Learn to be impolite.  It must be part of your defense system.

    Nothing is unspeakable.

    Stare truth in the eye and speak it.

    You name abuse.  Listen to your body.  It will tell you.  It is never wrong. 

    Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.

    Stare abusers in the eye and name them.

    Use your voice.  Use your words. 

    BE LOUD.  Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.

    Know that you are powerful.

    KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL.   USE IT.



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