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 To the Hunted and the Hunters - A Perspective

1/26/2017

 
Since the State of New Jersey has opened the Sealed Confidential Adoption Records.
Kathleen and I thought it necessary to revive a perspective from our Activist days.
We hope both the aging and elderly women/men now being exposed and those who choose to expose them will consider what we offer.

The answers we seek are already within us.  Look inside, YOU choose to be happy, YOU choose to make your life meaningful, YOU decide what your identity will be. A biological event, long ago, does not define YOU. YOU DO!!!

A Perspective:
Today aging women, including frail elderly women, are enduring egregious abuse from State governments that are opening court sealed adoption records and intimidating these women into forfeiting private medical and personal histories to stranger-adoptees.

Adoption agencies are placing aging and elder women at extreme physical and emotional risk by releasing deeply intimate and identifying details to strangers claiming rights as adoptees.  Adoptees seeking to satisfy their own curiosity, some looking for revenge, are hunting down and ambushing elder women and their families, dismissing as unimportant the damage and destruction they create.
 
Despite whatever irreversible consequences may occur, society, via the media, insists on romanticizing this trend of pursuing women and forcing public exposure of past traumas.
Socially and politically this sanctioned abuse and punishment of aging and elderly women is disguised as a human rights issue for those who were placed into adoption.
Left without social support and legal options, it is, sadly, up to the woman in hiding to protect herself the best way she can. 

In hopes of offering emotional and practical support to all those women left alone to defend themselves from this social and governmental assault, Phil and I are sharing what we have learned through our years of fighting this injustice.

If you are a woman in hiding, please know that you are not alone.  We have been where you are.
To every woman confronting unwanted contact from a stranger-adoptee
You have a constitutional right to privacy, guaranteed by the 14th amendment.
You have a personal and a moral right to privacy.
You are not, repeat, NOT obligated morally, spiritually or legally (unless by subpoena) to the adoptee.
You have the right to invoke the word NO to direct or indirect contact with the adoptee.
You have the right to refuse to divulge any medical or personal information to any agency, institution or individual demanding it (unless compelled by subpoena).
Giving birth does not make you a mother.
You have the right to reject any and all familial labels concerning the adoptee.  (We use Biological Source or Biological Carrier, and always adoptee, or stranger-adoptee.)
You do not owe anyone, including family members, an explanation of your past circumstances.
You have the absolute right to set your boundaries regarding your situation, including terms and consequences if those boundaries are violated, even by loved ones.
Stalking constitutes any unwanted contact--physical, verbal, written--that places a victim in fear.  Stalking by an adoptee is criminal behavior.
Understand that despite what the stranger-adoptee uses as an excuse to continue unwanted contact, it is harassment and stalking.

Know that from an early age, many adoptees are protected from disturbing truths surrounding their adoptions and are regaled with notions of love and loss and aching empty arms.  When faced with the reality as adults, these adoptees still feel entitled to the fairytales they were told and refuse to believe the truth.

Understand that it is not you that the stranger-adoptee is seeking; it is fulfillment of an unrealistic fantasy that the adoptee has created in his/her own mind.

Many adoptees want a revision of their personal history; relief from longing that they do not understand is self-imposed.
Whatever the adoptee chooses to believe or not believe, he/she has no entitlement to you, your family, or any of your personal and private information.

Recognize that no matter what you do or don't do, it is not within your power to heal the adoptee.  Only they can heal themselves; it is that way for all of us.
Know that whatever events led you to the adoption process, you have no guilt to bear.  Not then.  Not now.
Do not be swayed by those who didn't live your ordeal and know nothing of your anguish.
Most significantly, be loyal to yourself and claim your right to say NO.

Rights for Women: The Suffrage Movement

1/20/2017

 
Excerpts from National Women's History Museum

I believe the information gleaned from the National Women's History Museum is a stark reminder of what is at stake with the Trump administration.
Please take a moment and see what it took to get to where we are now and how hard the fight was. https://www.nwhm.org/online-exhibits/rightsforwomen/introduction.html

Prior to 1776, women exercised the right to vote in several American colonies. After 1776, states rewrote their constitutions to prevent women from voting. After 1787, women were able to vote only in New Jersey. Women continued to vote in New Jersey until 1807, when male legislators officially outlawed woman suffrage.
Only after decades of intense political activity did women eventually win the right to vote.
Gaining the vote for American women, known as woman suffrage, was the single largest enfranchisement and extension of democratic rights in our nation’s history. Along with the Civil Rights Movement, the woman suffrage movement should be considered one of the two most important American political movements of the 20th century.

The 15th Amendment stated that voting rights could not be denied on account of race, but did not mention sex.
In 1869, Cady Stanton and Anthony founded their own women’s rights party, the National Woman Suffrage Association (NWSA). The NWSA, considered a radical organization, did not support the 15th Amendment on the grounds that it enfranchised black men but not white or black women. The NWSA also initially discouraged the participation of men in leadership positions, and was a multi-issue organization, arguing for a variety of women’s rights.
When the 19th Amendment was passed in 1920, it legally enfranchised all women, white and black. However, within a decade, state laws and vigilante practices effectively disenfranchised most black women in the South. It would take another major movement for voting rights – the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s – before black women in the South would be effectively enfranchised.

Women's March On Trenton

1/9/2017

 
Event DescriptionOn Saturday, January 21, 2017, we will unite at the Trenton War Memorial in Trenton, New Jersey at 10 a.m.to rally in solidarity with marchers in Washington, DC at the Women’s March on Washington and at the over 170 sister marches being held across the United States and the world.
In New Jersey, at our peaceful march, we will unite and empower one another to use our collective, diverse voices to send a clear message that we expect our civil and human rights to be upheld and protected. We will remind those in government that they report to us and that true power is retained by the people.
Women United, Together We Rise
Women of New Jersey will rise united. Though we are diverse in so many ways, we will stand together peacefully with our families and our friends, united in our belief that the strength of our country depends on the strength of women.
We rise together because we affirm the autonomy of women – all of us entitled to control our own bodies.
We rise united because we affirm the dignity of women – all of us deserving of equitable concern, respect, and protection from abuse and violence.
We rise together to advance racial justice and to fight discrimination based on our skin color, ethnicity, gender,religion, orientation, differing ability, or citizenship – all of us safe and free from discrimination and bigotry.
We rise united to dismantle the barriers that keep too many people from healthcare, homes they can afford, and the public education on which democracy depends – all of us committed to moving toward a better tomorrow.
We rise together to end police violence and mass incarceration - all of us standing together to fight against the inequality our sisters and brothers face everyday.
We rise united for urgent action on climate change - all of us recognizing that none of these rights matter if we do not have clean water, clean air, and a habitable earth to leave our descendents.
From our diversity comes one message: we stand to protect women’s civil and human rights. Women United, Together We Rise!
Please help us by sharing this event with every person you know, from any and every background, that may be interested. Our march, an event built on the cornerstones of inclusivity, diversity, peace and acceptance, welcomes all women, of every race, ethnicity, religion, orientation, ability, immigration status, socioeconomic background, and age, as well as their supporters. The greater our numbers, the greater our impact.
ANNOUNCEMENT! UPDATE! First stop on January 21st: Patriot's Theater
The WMONJ is pleased to announce that our event will begin with a program of engaging and dynamic speakers at Patriots Theater located at the Trenton War Memorial.
Following the speaking program, we will march approximately a half of a mile to the steps of the State House, where we take a People's Pledge together and hear a call-to-action.
All marchers should plan to meet at the theater at the War Memorial. The address is 1 Memorial Drive in Trenton. The start time is 10:00 a.m. Due to the large volume of participants and capacity of the theater, we highly recommend arriving as early as 9:00 a.m. The event will end at approximately 1:00 p.m.
DOWNLOAD, PRINT, & SHARE OUR OFFICIAL FLYER. Spread the word!
https://www.mediafire.com/?3qjqvwsuox2xihu

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    About the Author

    In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.

    Raw. Uncompromising. Compassionate. Deliberately antagonistic. Kathleen writes to awaken the courage within the reader.


    TO THE SURVIVOR
    If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator. 

    I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence. 

    You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted. 

    This is an excerpt from: 

    http://web.archive.org/web/20130101063123/http://true-perspective.org 

    Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power! 

    You are your own authority.

    Question Everything.  Including social, religious & political authorities

    Learn to listen and respond to your intuition.  It is never wrong.

    Learn to be impolite.  It must be part of your defense system.

    Nothing is unspeakable.

    Stare truth in the eye and speak it.

    You name abuse.  Listen to your body.  It will tell you.  It is never wrong. 

    Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.

    Stare abusers in the eye and name them.

    Use your voice.  Use your words. 

    BE LOUD.  Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.

    Know that you are powerful.

    KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL.   USE IT.



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