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Believe Her

6/9/2022

 
Believe Her
 
…she is worthy of your trust
 
 
When I was an infant my mother slashed her wrists with a razorblade in a grim attempt to end her life. I was there. It was mayhem. I have no visual memory of this dismal event, but for over sixty years I carried the energetic mass of this trauma inside my own body as an imbedded horror story I could feel but could not touch—an occupied crypt with no name.
 
As a child I obsessed over the pale, ropey scars on my mother’s wrist asking her again and again how they came to be. Her scripted explanation was a lie that gnawed at my bones. Each telling of it pouring acid into my blood. Because I knew better…I knew something…but I didn’t know what.
 
Sexual assault of a child often follows the same path. Her body is present during the attack but her mind incapable of visually registering images or recording any verbal memory of the event(s), leaving her with no means to comprehend the incident(s); no validation. And ultimately, immense religious and cultural pressure to condemn and ignore any troubling and frightening feelings that might arise from her unnamed, haunting darkness. So it is left to her body to chronicle and silently bear the impact of the anonymous trauma—trauma that will eventually create significant emotional, and even physical, harm to her.
 
All along, she knows something. She doesn’t know what. But her body knows.
 
While writing Forget About Heaven, I decided to listen to my infant body’s account of mommy, blood and mayhem. I decided to trust her to tell the truth. She did. I heard her. I believed her. Finally I had my answer. What I knew since that bloody day was all true. My body--she—had the answer the whole time. I had the answer from the very beginning. All I had to do was listen. I had my validation. The storm passed.
 
It is essential that we regard our bodies as our authorities of truth even, and most definitely, when our brains—or outsiders—seek to discredit what we sense is true. Our brains are for logic and intellect. Outsiders have agendas we cannot even begin to contemplate.
 
Your body, your spirit, contains your reality and will guide you, if you allow her, into understanding and ultimately emotional freedom…onto the energetic path of physical, mental and spiritual health.
 
Believe her. Believe what your body is trying to tell you. She is worthy of your trust.
 
 
Namaste, khf
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    About the Author

    In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.

    Raw. Uncompromising. Compassionate. Deliberately antagonistic. Kathleen writes to awaken the courage within the reader.


    TO THE SURVIVOR
    If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator. 

    I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence. 

    You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted. 

    This is an excerpt from: 

    http://web.archive.org/web/20130101063123/http://true-perspective.org 

    Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power! 

    You are your own authority.

    Question Everything.  Including social, religious & political authorities

    Learn to listen and respond to your intuition.  It is never wrong.

    Learn to be impolite.  It must be part of your defense system.

    Nothing is unspeakable.

    Stare truth in the eye and speak it.

    You name abuse.  Listen to your body.  It will tell you.  It is never wrong. 

    Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.

    Stare abusers in the eye and name them.

    Use your voice.  Use your words. 

    BE LOUD.  Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.

    Know that you are powerful.

    KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL.   USE IT.



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