At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
FORGIVING VIOLENCE—AN UNINFORMED ACT
Violence is a fierce coalescing of overpowering energy forced upon another physically, emotionally, and/or mentally. Until it is resolved, even one single act of violence continues generating damage into the infinite future. This damaging energy plays out generationally in our own families and leaks unimpeded into the collective world causing and creating further harm.
Because violence has endless disguises and countless manifestations, sound and outward appearances are unreliable judges of acts of violence and its consequences. Whether the thunderous explosion of a violent act creates pandemonium among many, or one silent, tightly-burrowed act of cruelty is exacted against an audience of one, violence always harms and continues to foster trauma until it is resolved at its source—the source is the perpetrator.
Because acts of violence trigger perpetual harm, it is impervious to the benevolence of forgiveness. Forgiveness of violence is an uninformed act of willpower that is an issue of ego and self-congratulations; it gives comfort to the misinformed by allowing them to ignore and bypass the true devastation created by perpetrators of violent acts. The misinformed confuse the necessary, all-encompassing scope of self-inflicted consequences that must be accepted and confronted by perpetrators of violence with harsh, unjust punishment lacking love and compassion. The misinformed mistake the emotion of love and compassion for authentic love and compassion. Authentic love and compassion supports and encourages the highest good. The highest good is the true evolution of the soul. True evolution is profound self-awareness. Self-awareness is created from experience and understanding of experiences.
Forgiveness of violence is an uninformed act of willpower that attempts to bestow upon perpetrators a reward that is not available to them. By relieving them of the residual tensions lingering from their violent behaviors, the misinformed, with their declarations of forgiveness, actually create barriers to the process of evolution—a process that always includes discomfort and seemingly unfairly grueling challenges.
Uninformed acts of forgiveness separate perpetrators from their vital life lessons, without which they cannot entirely evolve and fully integrate into wholeness. Through their chosen path of violence, perpetrators must completely and totally see and experience the full depth and width of the consequences of their violent acts, not only on their victims, but on themselves as well.
The power of the soul’s drive to evolve must not be mitigated by onlookers seeking superficial comfort. Consequences are uncomfortable, especially when meted out to a loved one. But consequences are a necessary tool of evolution and any interference with another’s consequences circumvents their growth by inhibiting and prolonging the learning required for moving forward.
All souls must eventually evolve into wholeness—that includes perpetrators of violence. The very action of a grievous act against another indicates how far lost in darkness, how disconnected from the light, the perpetrator has become. It is a long and arduous journey into the light both for the victim of violence and the perpetrator of violence. The consequences of even one act of violence must never be dismissed—its tentacles reach into the future and beyond. The perpetrator of violence must come to the full comprehension of the mayhem that his/her behavior has created not only in one life, but in the lives beyond their narrow vision as the energy of their violent acts continue to impact the world in general while its energy heeds the impetus to replicate itself.
Resolution of violence is wholly available to all. Compassion and support from concerned individuals for perpetrators of violence is essential. But forgiveness is inapplicable. Forgiving violence is an uninformed and self-preserving act of willpower—of misguided energy—that impedes necessary resolution and halts growth of the soul.
This is not about feeling good, this is about doing the work to create good.
Next time: GIVING FROM YOUR ABUNDANCE
Women in Hiding Press Books:
About the Author
In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.
TO THE SURVIVOR
If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator.
I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence.
You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted.
This is an excerpt from:
Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power!
You are your own authority.
Question Everything. Including social, religious & political authorities
Learn to listen and respond to your intuition. It is never wrong.
Learn to be impolite. It must be part of your defense system.
Nothing is unspeakable.
Stare truth in the eye and speak it.
You name abuse. Listen to your body. It will tell you. It is never wrong.
Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.
Stare abusers in the eye and name them.
Use your voice. Use your words.
BE LOUD. Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.
Know that you are powerful.
KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL. USE IT.