SISTER IN KIND
By khf
Once she called me sister
Not so long ago
Maybe in gratitude
for proper in-law manners
She needn’t have
It has been my honor
all these decades
to cradle her panics in my hands
shelter her anguish in my heart
Maybe brokenness
senses brokenness
and seeks kinship
as hope
for healing
But…
I am always the hand
not the reach
Only now…
my world upended
thrown off it axis
A massive rupture
has trapped me
in a death roll
careening backwards
through time
This moment
a gutter fire
burns on her doorstep
Unbidden. Unexpected.
Welcome as a smut peddler hawking porn
I am raw. Skinned alive.
Circling. Pacing. Dreading. Longing.
Waiting for her phone call
Her familiar voice
a safe beacon
in a dank alley
I am trudging
this labyrinth
built of earth
and sacred stone
Again. And Again.
Over. And Over.
Circling. Waiting.
A rabid howl of shame--
wet sand lodged in my throat
I have loved her
through dark hours
and ill-timed troubles
“Sister,” she called me--
a wrapped gift
she did not know
she was giving
Circling
Circling the labyrinth
Leavings of fall
crunching underfoot
Ominous clouds looming
heavy with first snow
What will I say
when she calls
What if my lips fall loose
when she calls
or my voice stalls
my words seize-up
and defect
to a foreign country
when she calls
What if
by the magic of her concern
my feverish, infected wound
BURSTS
into animal keening
I will be helpless to control
when she calls
When she calls
what if I shatter
into a million specks
and fall like dust
to the dirty floor
What will I do
when she calls
I walk the labyrinth
Circle the scarred ground
Pacing. Pacing. Pacing.
Waiting for her call
For days
I wander about
in a hollow fog
stuck somewhere between
hope and confusion
blades pricking bones
Awareness dawns
with the creep
of a blood-red sun
The sacred stones speak:
Oh Sister,
Oh Dear Sister,
Our time together
has come to an end.
Death due to natural causes
I walk away
and
do not look back.
khf/10.31.22
By khf
Once she called me sister
Not so long ago
Maybe in gratitude
for proper in-law manners
She needn’t have
It has been my honor
all these decades
to cradle her panics in my hands
shelter her anguish in my heart
Maybe brokenness
senses brokenness
and seeks kinship
as hope
for healing
But…
I am always the hand
not the reach
Only now…
my world upended
thrown off it axis
A massive rupture
has trapped me
in a death roll
careening backwards
through time
This moment
a gutter fire
burns on her doorstep
Unbidden. Unexpected.
Welcome as a smut peddler hawking porn
I am raw. Skinned alive.
Circling. Pacing. Dreading. Longing.
Waiting for her phone call
Her familiar voice
a safe beacon
in a dank alley
I am trudging
this labyrinth
built of earth
and sacred stone
Again. And Again.
Over. And Over.
Circling. Waiting.
A rabid howl of shame--
wet sand lodged in my throat
I have loved her
through dark hours
and ill-timed troubles
“Sister,” she called me--
a wrapped gift
she did not know
she was giving
Circling
Circling the labyrinth
Leavings of fall
crunching underfoot
Ominous clouds looming
heavy with first snow
What will I say
when she calls
What if my lips fall loose
when she calls
or my voice stalls
my words seize-up
and defect
to a foreign country
when she calls
What if
by the magic of her concern
my feverish, infected wound
BURSTS
into animal keening
I will be helpless to control
when she calls
When she calls
what if I shatter
into a million specks
and fall like dust
to the dirty floor
What will I do
when she calls
I walk the labyrinth
Circle the scarred ground
Pacing. Pacing. Pacing.
Waiting for her call
For days
I wander about
in a hollow fog
stuck somewhere between
hope and confusion
blades pricking bones
Awareness dawns
with the creep
of a blood-red sun
The sacred stones speak:
Oh Sister,
Oh Dear Sister,
Our time together
has come to an end.
Death due to natural causes
I walk away
and
do not look back.
khf/10.31.22