Dear sister in circumstance, my wish for you this Mother’s Day is that you will celebrate freely in the full richness of the love you have for others and receive fully the love they have for you. May you truly know that love is an affinity of the soul, a connection to divine harmony. May you know with genuine clarity that this path of affinity and shared connection with your loved ones is an authentic path of the soul and a means of respecting yourself and all you bring into the lives of those around you. You are part of the highest good and always have been. May you recognize your soul family as those who love you unconditionally and support and encourage you to be all that you can possibly be. May you allow yourself to embrace what you know to be true—that circumstances of biology have nothing to do with profound love.
If Mother’s Day has been tainted for you by the malicious and the woefully ignorant who hunt you, threaten you by demanding that you compensate them for your personal nightmare of suffering a reproductive crisis, may you come to full understanding that those demands are unethical and abusive. May you truly appreciate that those who try to force you into being what you are not, who try to intimidate you into changing the reality of your traumatic experience, are acting out of their own self interest. You are not the adoptee’s mother despite that indicting label forced upon you by the malicious and the ignorant. Know that the malicious and the ignorant are not your superiors and have no authority over you. Just because they decide something about you, does not make it so. Understand that those who inflict cruelty either by maliciousness or ignorance bear personal responsibility for whatever injuries their actions create, including what boomerangs back into their own lives.
Sister in circumstance, may you find solace in the knowledge that you carry no responsibility for what lacks in the heart of another. In fact, you do not have the power to alleviate the empty longings in another’s soul. A simple truth of existence is that we have within us—at all times—the ability to fulfill and complete ourselves; to resolve our painful wounds; and to achieve personal heights we never dreamed possible. Nothing from outside cures the emptiness within.
May you genuinely comprehend that those working diligently to bully and terrorize you into submission, to extort from you that which does not belong to them—whatever that is—are no different from those who persecute and condemn anyone who disagrees with their constricted, arrogant viewpoints. May you know that the judgments and prejudices of others—politicians, clergy, family members, Mary Queen of Rapes, the neighbor three doors down, your coworker—are primitive-level mind-sets, not inspired truths.
May you know that just because bullies throw tantrums loud enough to arouse public pity and deafening enough to sway politicians to pass laws to penalize the innocent does not obligate you to cower and obey their demands. May you come to comprehend that the very act of such demanding is coercion and is fed by the delusion and egotism of entitlement with the intention of seizing, of appropriating, of grabbing what belongs to another.
May you come to understand that by submitting to covert force, even as its masquerades as creditable, you are betraying your deepest self—a self worthy of your love, honor and protection. May you understand that submitting to the force of another is never the answer and through the law of nature, simply creates more of what you do not want. Know that what is gained through force and intimidation—even though that force and intimidation surrounds itself with esteemed jargon and pious deeds—is always shadowed by darkness. Darkness must be resolved by the one who creates it. And the one forced to live with it.
My wish for you, dear sister in circumstance, is for you to look beyond the social and religious hysterics and see logic and reason. The spectrum of reproduction, like anything else in the human experience, ranges from complete ecstasy to utter despair—from fulfilled desire to catastrophic nightmare. That which is forced upon you, imposed upon you, does not obligate you, in spite of coercion from politicians, clergy, family members, Mary Queen of Rapes, the neighbor three doors down, your coworker, or __________(fill-in-the-blank).
Dear sister in circumstance, with the clarity of self-confidence and self-respect may you claim this Mother’s Day as yours. May you elevate yourself from the inevitable “poor me, I just don’t know who I am” tales whining from every media outlet on this May Sunday. May you choose freedom for yourself. May you stand up and claim your personal rights. May you begin to understand the impact of what you have endured has had on your life, and take steps forward toward the true resolution that awaits you. May you discover and speak your truth.
And should some of those you love turn their backs on you—on the wounds you’ve suffered—please keep in mind that their failure to understand genuine love and their inability to accept reality has nothing to do with you. Whatever turmoil and distortions live within their hearts represents their responsibility and their challenge to resolve. May you truly understand that you cannot heal them or render them empathetic, however much you ache to. They must do it for themselves.
What you can do, dear sister in circumstance, is recognize your courage and set yourself free. You can fly.
Happy Mother’s Day!