Decent people with a sense of compassion and morals have absolutely no comprehension of the agony this country is forcing upon women who were impregnated against their will and rescued by the confidential adoption process. Every “civilian” knows a woman who is currently enduring this hidden, dark suffering, though she will never reveal herself.
Phil and I are both humbled and heartbroken by the communications we receive from women in hiding. They are literally your co-worker, your good friend, your mom, your grandmother—all walking unseen in the shadows of their dark wounds, terrified.
Women forced to hide in these shadows are tormented constantly by fantasy abuse from the media, the creative community, politicians, the religious, and society in general. Those who hunt us, who demand access into the privacy of our very bodies, are fantasized as heroes, even as they wreak havoc on our lives and strip us of our human rights.
Those of us who have endured the lifelong trauma of forced reproduction live with crippling torment. For us, this is no charming fantasy. To be hunted down, to be obligated by law to reveal personal and medical information, to be forced to disclose intimate details of a sexual calamity is no fantasy. It is real. It is brutal. It is abuse beyond imagination to “civilians.”
Think of this the next time you hear a cute little story about an adoptee searching for a complete stranger. Think of how that complete stranger has been reduced to a fantasy. Think of how that stranger has been obligated by a fantasy. Think of fantasy as abuse. Then be grateful it is not you being hunted.