At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
FORGIVING VIOLENCE—AN UNINFORMED ACT
Violence is a fierce coalescing of overpowering energy forced upon another physically, emotionally, and/or mentally. Until it is resolved, even one single act of violence continues generating damage into the infinite future. This damaging energy plays out generationally in our own families and leaks unimpeded into the collective world causing and creating further harm.
Because violence has endless disguises and countless manifestations, sound and outward appearances are unreliable judges of acts of violence and its consequences. Whether the thunderous explosion of a violent act creates pandemonium among many, or one silent, tightly-burrowed act of cruelty is exacted against an audience of one, violence always harms and continues to foster trauma until it is resolved at its source—the source is the perpetrator.
Because acts of violence trigger perpetual harm, it is impervious to the benevolence of forgiveness. Forgiveness of violence is an uninformed act of willpower that is an issue of ego and self-congratulations; it gives comfort to the misinformed by allowing them to ignore and bypass the true devastation created by perpetrators of violent acts. The misinformed confuse the necessary, all-encompassing scope of self-inflicted consequences that must be accepted and confronted by perpetrators of violence with harsh, unjust punishment lacking love and compassion. The misinformed mistake the emotion of love and compassion for authentic love and compassion. Authentic love and compassion supports and encourages the highest good. The highest good is the true evolution of the soul. True evolution is profound self-awareness. Self-awareness is created from experience and understanding of experiences.
Forgiveness of violence is an uninformed act of willpower that attempts to bestow upon perpetrators a reward that is not available to them. By relieving them of the residual tensions lingering from their violent behaviors, the misinformed, with their declarations of forgiveness, actually create barriers to the process of evolution—a process that always includes discomfort and seemingly unfairly grueling challenges.
Uninformed acts of forgiveness separate perpetrators from their vital life lessons, without which they cannot entirely evolve and fully integrate into wholeness. Through their chosen path of violence, perpetrators must completely and totally see and experience the full depth and width of the consequences of their violent acts, not only on their victims, but on themselves as well.
The power of the soul’s drive to evolve must not be mitigated by onlookers seeking superficial comfort. Consequences are uncomfortable, especially when meted out to a loved one. But consequences are a necessary tool of evolution and any interference with another’s consequences circumvents their growth by inhibiting and prolonging the learning required for moving forward.
All souls must eventually evolve into wholeness—that includes perpetrators of violence. The very action of a grievous act against another indicates how far lost in darkness, how disconnected from the light, the perpetrator has become. It is a long and arduous journey into the light both for the victim of violence and the perpetrator of violence. The consequences of even one act of violence must never be dismissed—its tentacles reach into the future and beyond. The perpetrator of violence must come to the full comprehension of the mayhem that his/her behavior has created not only in one life, but in the lives beyond their narrow vision as the energy of their violent acts continue to impact the world in general while its energy heeds the impetus to replicate itself.
Resolution of violence is wholly available to all. Compassion and support from concerned individuals for perpetrators of violence is essential. But forgiveness is inapplicable. Forgiving violence is an uninformed and self-preserving act of willpower—of misguided energy—that impedes necessary resolution and halts growth of the soul.
This is not about feeling good, this is about doing the work to create good.
Next time: GIVING FROM YOUR ABUNDANCE
THOUGHTS ARE THINGS
Not too long ago, I saw a poor soul with so many negative thoughts glued to her back that she’s bent over like a cripple. They’re working with her, but she’s got a long way to go. --Mary Patricia, Forget About Heaven
Thoughts are things—our closest, most intimate companions. Our thoughts are our creative force—we believe the thoughts that we create, and we act upon those beliefs. We perceive and relate to ourselves and the world according to the thoughts we generate and give energy to, whether those thoughts are positive or negative. Developed, persuasive thoughts are powerful generators of action and behavior. It is through thoughts that we create the world we decide to live in. Words are powerful and intentionally generated energy. Words ripen into influential thoughts with shaped and formed vibrational energy. Thoughts are potent instruments of our human consciousness that evolve into ideas. Those thoughts/ideas—whether destructive or constructive—are magnets that draw toward us the energy that we radiate. Positive or negative, among the most difficult things to eradicate is an idea that has taken root. We believe the thoughts that we create. We are the thoughts we create.
Aligning yourself with the forces of harmony creates more harmony within. This is not magic—it’s the structure of nature. But it is not as simple as “thinking good thoughts.” The Think Good Thoughts lecture is a trite and annoying cliché. It dismisses and diminishes the challenge of overcoming negative, destructive beliefs that have been conditioned and implanted by abuse. It rejects the punishing reality of living with powerful, silent, ever-increasing fear. No amount of force-feeding happy thoughts will transform fear into harmony. That takes determination and discipline, along with a strategy that includes an acceptance of personal authority.
Fear is an insidious, invasive energy. When you concede your natural, powerful authority to fear, you surrender authority as your own decision maker. Fear will command you and make all your decisions for you. Fear is an all-consuming energy. It will create for you exactly what you insist you are afraid of, plus. Fear responds to negative words and thoughts by creating more fear. The more negative energy you feed fear, the more powerful fear becomes. And the more powerful fear becomes, the further and further you slip away from your true self, your forever self, the you that knows how to achieve your highest good. The self that longs for harmony with your truth.
Thoughts are things—our closest, most intimate companions. When you begin the challenge of slowly shifting your thoughts/beliefs from negative to positive, from destructive to supportive; from lies to truth; when you start to connect with the inspirational force of your creative energy—the draw of your soul toward its brilliance—when you move your ideas toward personal creation as opposed to disheartening yourself with helplessness, you create an altitude of mind and slowly begin to transform. You will begin to believe your worth, accept your own authority, and seek the deepest truth hidden within you—the truth that never was and can never be destroyed by violence. That truth is the pathway to your greatest joy.
As you transform, you will begin to radiate light from the glow within. That light will attract more light, just as fear attracts more fear. You will begin to contribute to the healer inside yourself, instead of searching outward in vain for peace that only you can generate.
The more determined you become, the more you transform into your own personal gladiator—a protector of your interior self—and decide what words, thoughts and ideas to generate, the more powerful you will become. You will begin evolving in ways you never believed possible; in ways that were thwarted by negative thoughts and destructive behaviors created by abuse. The more confidence you generate, the more confident you become.
The events of violence will remain with a victim always. However, as you move forward committing purposeful energy to the life you desire, as you evolve into your authentic, empowered self and connect with your profound creative mission, those abuse memories will lose their grip, and their power over you will weaken. Understand that violence is a permanent, lifelong action visited upon its victim. Its vestiges will still have to be confronted when triggered. But with the active determination to shift focus and by aligning yourself with the forces of harmony, by shifting to an altitude of mind, the victim of violence will no longer be haunted by past events.
Your closest, most intimate companions—your thoughts—will create for you the world you have been searching for your entire life. You will be a powerful life force.
Next time: THE MYTH OF FORGIVENESS
We posted this back in 2013 and sadly find it necessary to re post it. Perhaps the Donald needs to read it, but, then again he doesn't believe in Global Warming either.
Violence against women has reached ‘epidemic proportions,’ WHO reports says.
Women violated by their partners are twice as likely to face depression as women who have not experienced violence.
National Monitor, Fritzi R. Bodenheimer | June 21, 2013
A new report released today by the World Health Organization (WHO) says violence against women has reached “epidemic proportions.” More than one-third of women around the world will experience violence resulting in physical and mental harm.
The violence against women is most likely to come from an intimate partner. It may include physical violence like hitting, kicking or beating; sexual coercion; emotional abuse like insults, humiliation, or threats of harm; or controlling behaviors like restricting access to a woman’s family, job, or medical care.
“The report findings show that violence greatly increases women’s vulnerability to range of short-and long-term health problems; it highlights the need for the health sector to take violence against women more seriously,” said Dr. Claudia Garcia-Moreno, one of the authors of the report.
Women violated by their partners are twice as likely to face depression as women who have not experienced violence.
They are also more likely to contract HIV and sexual transmitted diseases and to experience unwanted pregnancies.
The study found that among women who are murdered, 38 percent were murdered by their intimate partner. Forty-two percent of women who have been sexually or physically violated sustain injuries.
While violence is a global problem, women in southeast Asia, eastern Mediterranean countries and Africa had the highest incidences. Still, the report shows 32 percent of violence against women occurs in high-income countries. In the United States, about 5 million women are victims of domestic violence, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.
“This new data shows that violence against women is extremely common. We urgently need to invest in prevention to address the underlying causes of this global women’s health problem,” said Professor Charlotte Watts from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. The school was a partner to WHO in the research, along with the South African Medical Research Council. The researchers looked at data from 81 countries.
Among the minimum standards WHO recommends to health care centers is training for providers in how to ask their patients about violence, a guarantee of confidentiality and a private setting for consultation, and the resources to treat the physical and mental health of the patient.
In an interview with Voice of America, Garcia-Moreno of WHO, said we need to prevent violence from happening in the first place. “We know that children who are abused or who are exposed to their parents abusing each other are more likely to end up in an abusive relationship either as perpetrator or as victim,” she said.
If you need help, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Women in Hiding Press Books:
About the Author
In the provocative spirit of Matilda Joslyn Gage, Gloria Anzaldua, and Mary Daly, Kathleen Hoy Foley expands and deepens the voice of female experience.
TO THE SURVIVOR
If you are a person who was victimized as a child or as an adult, I am so very sorry you ever had to suffer at the hands of a predator.
I am sorry you were abused, sorry no one protected you, sorry you have felt so alone, sorry you have been so afraid then and in the now. I am so sorry for the loss of your innocence.
You were and are entitled to you life. And you had a right to inherit your own body. And no matter what you did or what you think you failed to do you are not to blame. Sexual abuse is never a victim's choice. Sexual abuse is something that was done to your body not something you wanted.
This is an excerpt from:
Kathleen and I encourage you to visit this site for perspective on your ordeal. Live happy and whole. Claim you power!
You are your own authority.
Question Everything. Including social, religious & political authorities
Learn to listen and respond to your intuition. It is never wrong.
Learn to be impolite. It must be part of your defense system.
Nothing is unspeakable.
Stare truth in the eye and speak it.
You name abuse. Listen to your body. It will tell you. It is never wrong.
Stare abuse in the eye and speak it.
Stare abusers in the eye and name them.
Use your voice. Use your words.
BE LOUD. Violence against girls, boys, women and men hides in the silent shadows.
Know that you are powerful.
KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL. USE IT.